All these thoughts, where do they go? To be upheld, to feel relevant and happy. I want the best for u, for us-- but how can I conspire to dream so heavily carrying the fear and burden of the unknown? I wanna play but I'm afraid I'm dull and brassy. I need something back that I lost, I know. I wonder if the spliff is turning against me.
Sitting here staring out my window, it's good in the sun--- treeees.
I need to know ill be alright I guess. Shaky. This is real. I wanna be able to have it be like it used to, when I could smoke n play n not fucking worry and care. I need to be free to make my own choices, cuz I know id make good ones.