It's me
It's me
I'm the one that can't
Go straight,
or see straight, or attune my words
To hit high strums
Before they hit the cage
I can't see past my current
Miseries, my current missteps,
The way the clock chimes in the back
Waiting for me to fall
With the stroke of each arm
And all my bullies
And demons are there
And girls with prettier hair
And better lies
Are there
Reminding me of how many
Times I've failed and fallen before
But this.. If I have not the dignity
To wither and collapse
Over nonaction
Over ur nonaction
Then this, I adore u enough
To give u a grand spot in memories
These things that have transpired
Between us--
Where I cannot be framed
As a vixen, a villan, a crazy kook
With too much punch in her pipe--
I was determined to know you
To excavate into the palpable goodness
That makes you both a man
And young
See into ur shores
And past ur skyline
Drown where I see myself
In u, in a mush, a blur, a haze
Even as minuscule
As the remembrance of a first day of school
There, little, small, and in your thoughts
..I will drown myself.
...
(not as a vixen
But as a woman that could have loved you
Could have held ur nobility
Coulda looked into the face of anything
U could say to me
Coulda held on tight, matyred to u each night..
There
as this woman
Below ur waves, I
could drown
And never be heard from again
From the normal world.)