defeated by us
I’ve been empty for years
Dreamin of drugs and beer
I’m trying
To decide
How crowded inside I am
overwhelmed by this
overwhelmed by that-
how many days
have I tried to draw
a new starting line at my feet..
because I don't accept every fuckin
bad decision
because guilt and sadness and fear
are ravenous inside of me too
I seek and do not find
I knock and it does not open..
do I expect to wake up one day
and a tide of birds launch at my feet
or is every day only a small step
only a small chance..
when I want to fight so hard
when I want to fight so bad