i'm giving up, i've given up, i have to start
these considerations and on top of that
now i'm addicted to pot
if i failed you in any way, it's only cause
i did it their way, i long to have done it my way
maybe i woulda stepped on mud regardless
i had a moment of blessing but i dont know
where to toss it, pass it, not in anyone can
i claim a reassurance, an added breathe
i am suffocated, my head in cloth
at the stable tossed and poured to a spring feast
but i've ruminated for the good in the future
for so many decades that i dont know how to
keep myself from holding the knife
i've been cut and carved still on the board
drenched in warm blood, i've costed everything
exhaustion and numbness and a feeling'
i'll just stop it all just give me a chance
when do i stop, this new years? i'm not much for sentiment
i wish i was, i wish i could turn to know light
but is it spoken as a lie?
i've learned so many things about God
but never of love
i'm poured, i'm pouring, into the ease
i should feel right about now, i feel i'll just stop
i fear i'll just stop
i dream of a day where it will be easy
i just have to kneel before God
and trust in a resurrection