we grow
we learn things
is it wrong to be confident?
why have i thought different?
it's full of unreason
the ways i look at myself
the ways i see myself
black, impossible, with no where to belong
i don't know what levels of love exist
i haven't even stayed a while
i use to get excited to learn what you like
now i'm rather expect someone else
i've been writing without my word-fashion lately
i feel like God is out to kill me
or find me and hurt me
no more daggers, let me recover and be blessed, when does it start? when does it start, when does it start?
so in the end what is the matter?
is there a meaning to the universe?
being a good person is part of it
i've been a failure, with my depression
and psychotic episodes i attribute to God, i feel like i'm at my witts end, there's nothing to do but somehow make it through another dark day
i dont have any dreams anymore
it makes me less thoughtful and
more active
i can't believe i go into the theatre
get theatrical, the time kills me, the no guarantee kills me, the reality of it kills me, i just want to expect the good things to come now, atleast a few blessings now so i could work more for the future, i hope i don't get beat up again, i want to wait for nothing to happen, absolutely nothing to happen