your candid candy words
come back through my candy cords
(the candy circus)
something about "Your puppy"
is written on the screen, behind the
small-feathered birds, elephants, and
monkeys
doing a Jive-- behind the drums
making sound to a dance
and the people acting less
claustrophic and more scrupulous--
(There are even fairies there, I think)
And I think--
about men who have called me crazy
and the reasons i've become that psycho-woman
the terror that besieged me many years ago
and still now rattles it's pump--
I call that the years
I went crazy
became a slayer slut
and wanted to suck your dick in a vehicle
just cuz it would have made me feel better
for losing someone else.
petrified that you exist
and what it could mean if u do
I thought miracles did happen,
maybe it's all coated with false gods,
false obstruction, false faith
maybe i have been wrong for years
I cant make u think
all I can do is watch it pass by,
like ridiculously beautiful clouds
on a warm June day
of any year
of any circumstance
and how they looked beautiful from afar
and how we looked beautiful
and how you no longer care
and how i poisoned myself by letting you touch me
and how hard it is to not call you seventeen times
in the morning.
and how and how and how