what do i know about any of it?
only that people get away
with taking 28 dollars from me
and there's nothing i can do
but howl
beat and every severed
hollow
note
absurd.
(if it had to be one word)
but it's many.
and many have come
many have left
the few that remain
i hold close to my breast
and will not let go
because by friendship i was formed
by family i held my foundation
by spirituality i broke the norm
and by indifference
i was mysterisou
mostly it just means injured
anger, supressed
representing itself in all forms
all sorts of messes
that i've made over the years
but God has been gentle enought
to keep me tough
and clean
clean with me
my bloody mary
my buddy mary
and my neighbor mary
i love them equally
but not enough to stare into their
mirrors
equally, i am as blonde as i am
a black cat
he use to call me his black cat
then his black cat dies
and now he stands outside his car
and is yelling at me not to call him
when i take a look at my phone
endless msgs from him
i am bound by this circus we're in
in
out
i use to shout
at ur absence of blood
when my lungs, and tobgue
and guts and brains
were splattered on the floor
for the world to see
but u never did see it
and now when i talk about it
you sigh
as if it wasn't u
who once thought the world
would be a better place without me
save ur apologies
ur excuses
our apostasies
i have been delivered
from much
and i will no longer hit the gravel
everytime u say u'll call and dont
everytime we fight
i am harder than the night
hotter than the sun
cooler than the breeze
i am like the wind
or so my spirit is, within.
i waited and waited
to begin with u
and all we are
is a historical infraction
a lie.
sorry,
i really did mean
it
when i said i love u
but not with my heart
not clumsily
i love u with my brain
where u still remain
rubbing and washing
on that dark stain
that wont let us move backwards
or forwards.