i struggled with my own humanity
and still do
the versatile processes
of growing, evolving, then devolving again
though i am still in many ways
growing
i remember many years ago
seeing mickey at the hotel lounge
waiting for an AA-type class
i wanted to shoot her nasty-face
down just with my stare
and around the same time & place
i had this feeling, a vision even
that everything had burned down
and i was the only thing that remained
it was a generous feeling
a feeling of absolution
and i wasnt afraid
to be alive
or alone
oh how i worry
about being alive
and alone
J thinks i'm crazy
and in many ways, he's right
but i'm also misunderstood
and under-appreciated
oh how i wish he would see
past the angry mic-hog in me
to the gentleness
the realness
the faultless
and everything else
i am and feel
under the Light