I have absorbed much. But still I feel in limbo, lost to circumstance. I want my freedom, but I also want the divine. I couldn't talk much, but being around you always makes me feel hot. Like I'm hit and all I wanna do is have sex. You're a genuine, thorough and kind person and I'm sloppy and in discord. How I wish you'd care about me regardless of my nervousness and loss of self when I'm around you. Around anyone. I don't know what to say, who I am, I can only touch you freely when I'm drunk. How can it feel more natural unless you declare yourself mine? I'm sorry, I wish I was always brave, always had something to say instead of shutting down because I'm nervous and unstable. I wish I was more. I want to be more. But I like you, like the way you kiss, the way you are, the things you have to say and the way you say them. And more. And much more. So how do I move from here? What do I do? When all I wanted was to see you again and be "there" with you. If it's meant to be... they say. I can only wait and trust. I want you. There's so much to experience. And I want that with you. Oh, the many ways I've had to wait, wallow, and restrain.. And now that I'm here with you again, I'm blank and it's unnerving. Maybe it will end in love. It's what I hope for. It's my dream. So I hope, I hope and I wait. Not knowing where it will go, but believing in the best possible outcome.